The friends and family discount. As artists and makers, this one can cause a real thorn in our side. What started as a way for big corporations to run a sale that doesn’t sound like a sale has now created an expectation that we, as small business owners, should discount our work for those closest to us.
When it comes to friends and family, the expectation might be unspoken, it might come in the form of a cheeky request – “so, is there a friends and family discount?” wink – or even in more insidious digs – “oh, I would never spend THAT much.”
Regardless of how the friends and family discount conversation comes at you, it’s helpful to be prepared mentally (and emotionally) for how you’ll handle these requests.
You have to decide what feels best for you, but when it comes to my own jewelry, I’ve adopted a free or full policy – either I love you enough to give it to you for free or you’re going to pay full price like everyone else.
This isn’t a policy I broadcast to my friends and family (though I guess now some of them might read this and realize what’s been happening!) but it’s something that I keep in my own mind for how I want to sort this out.
What’s also interesting about this strategy is that the people who are privy to the free side of this policy rarely actually ask for jewelry. That’s because, for the people I love, I’m incredibly generous with my jewelry. I show up to happy hour (when that was still a thing we could do) with new earrings I’ve just made, I gift all my mama friends jewelry on their baby’s birthdays (because they were the ones who did the work and deserve gifts too!), and if I come to stay at your house, chances are I’m bringing a stash of jewelry for you to pick from. (And conversely, if I love you enough to let you stay at my house, I’ll probably let you pick something out from the studio as well.) I’ve also been known to give paintings to friends and family, especially when they move into new houses. (And I once made a pair of paintings while staying at my friend’s house and then just gave them to her – I mean, it’s not like I was going to take them with me on the plane!)
While you could argue that this is smart marketing for me, to have more of my work out in the world, it’s also just a way to show the people in my life that I love that I love them. And it also feels better to me – giving my very favorite people a discount code just doesn’t feel as good as gifting them things out of the blue.
But what about the friends and family that don’t fall into the free love side of the equation? How do you handle discount requests from them?
Well, my response to them is the same as it would be to anyone who has the audacity to ask me about discounts or sales. “I do sometimes run sales, so you should join my mailing list to be the first to know.”
In this case, I do think of this as marketing, because I know that someone on my mailing list is much more likely to actually make a purchase. But it also feels like an easy way to deflect those awkward friends and family discount questions. And if someone poses that question with a cheeky little wink, I just give my mailing list answer with the same energy back.
At the end of the day, it’s your business, which means it’s your rules. If you want to give friends and family a discount, that’s fine too. But if those requests feel irksome to you, a free or full strategy, armed with a few cheeky retorts at the ready, might just be the way to go.
Love the way you’ve worded it! The Full or Free strategy. Haha. I totally follow that model. It works for me and I find I don’t have distant friends or family creeping in expecting a discount either. Boundaries are important, business is business, relationships have no weight on my business decisions.
My mom for example has supported me countless ways, yet she will still TRY and pay for things. Realistically she could say she likes something and I would try to throw it at her no questions asked. She’s basically been working for me this whole time, just not making the product. If she is insistent on paying though (like if it’s a gift for a friend of hers), I usually just say x amount is enough (when really it’s a fraction of the cost). She always gives me a side eye because she knows it’s worth more. She’s just such an awesome mom that knows it costs money and my time and she sees value in my work too so she doesn’t try and take advantage of that, even though I’d give her anything if she asked for it, simply because I could never pay her enough for all the help she’s provided me.
For friends, if they are coming to work an event/market for/with me for the day, they get a product for free (that’s not all they get, if they’re working they do get paid!). One friend of mine has a whole collection of mine, but she is the first to volunteer to come to an event for the day and she’s wearing multiple pieces of my work which helps sell it, so it’s a win for me and she loves it so it’s a win for her too. But she is also the friend that will pay full price if she’s getting something to gift to someone! I have to fight with her to try and give her any sort of discount (she’s the only one that gets additional discounts, but she also is the first to come over and voluntarily help me stamp hundreds of bags, package jewelry or whatever else I need done prior to a big event weekend just to hang out with me).
This is fabulous advice. It is EXHAUSTING constantly navigating the “can you make this for $xx??” conversation. Sometimes I’m all about helping a friend out, especially if they are particularly special to me, but most of the time I want to say “could you do your job for $xx?” And I always always try not to do the same thing to friends I have in different fields or trades. Respect must go both ways!